The plumber insisted I leave Erns outside while he worked. I tried to warn him, but no. He said he had many dogs and knew how to handle them. He said "Oh you women are too soft thats your trouble". I saw the  overweight plumber  on his hands and knees squeezing through the little door under the house. Giggling to myself I went inside to wait for his call of help. It didn't wasn't long before I heard the plumber yelling, and thumping under the house. He did say he knew how to handle dogs so I left him a few moments.

 I looked out the window to see the plumber half way under the house As he bent over his jeans dropped to reveal his under wear. Now Ernie the under wear thief saw a golden opportunity to try to steal them.  Trying to support himself on one hand, the other hand trying to get Ernie who was prancing around pulling at his treasure giving the plumber a wedgy.. Oh my.. this poor man needed help urgently.

By the time I got to help the poor man Ernie had torn a hole in them. Drop Ernie. Drop.... No. Ernie wasn't letting this treasure go. I tried grabbing  Erns by the scruff of the neck and tried  to pry his mouth open without touching the plumber.. By now the plumber was lying flat on the ground trying to kick Ernie. He missed Ernie, knocked me off my feet and as I heard the final rip of underwear I fell on top of the plumber. 

The plumber called Ernie a deranged lunatic and left. I wondered for days if I should call or if he would come back. He did and this time he demanded I lock that demented dog inside. I told the plumber to wait there while I found my demented dog. I am not sure which part of wait he didn't understand, but once again he didn't listen. I came around the side of the house to see the plumber getting under the house and Ernie with his leg up positioning himself to pee on him.
Nooooooooo  Ernieeeeee... Noooooooo. Too late. He peed on the plumber. I can't repeat what the plumber said, but he never came back.

 

Neither did the carpet man or the window man or the other plumber after Erns locked him under the house.

 

I am just so lucky the vets all let me take him back. He likes to greet them by lifting his leg on them. Some he tries several times.

 

 

BERT AND ERNIE.

 

Wasn't until I wrote this I realised  Bert and Ernie.. Sesame street. lol

Ernie loves the vets with all the lovely smells, people to see, food to pee on etc so it is harder than usual to get him to sit still and not to lift his leg.
I sat down and an older lady next to me remarked how lovely and shiny he was.  She asked if she  could she pat him. She said to the old man sitting beside her holding a beautiful cane cat cage " Bert isn't he a lovely black Lab." Bert just sat there staring ahead.. When Ernie gets excited his tail goes round and round. "Oh Bert look at his tail go round and round. " Nothing from Bert.
Ernie finally lay down and crossed his paws. " Bert isn't he cute. Look he crosses his paws." Nothing from Bert.

I was so busy wondering if Bert was alive and thinking what a gorgeous crate they had I didn't notice Ernie creeping towards Bert and his cat until it was too late. Ernie jumped up pulling the lead out of my hands, grabbed the cage trying to run away with it. Bert hung on yelling out in a very loud voice F....K off DOG.

The old lady was so embarrassed and apologised to everyone because Bert was a bit naughty.
Naya the vet said she hated working Sundays, but seeing Bert and Ernie being bad boys was worth it.