The Kiwi fruit.

I gave the boys a kiwi fruit. Ernie took his to bed. Sam, on the other hand, stood in the kitchen staring at his in confusion. He had no idea what he was to do with it!

 He nudged it across the floor with his nose, licked it, whimpered a bit, and then began barking at it in frustration. “Mum the mouse hasn’t got a head.”

 

I heard Ernie coming so quickly stood in a ballerina pose between the counter and pantry trying to protect Sam and his Kiwi fruit. Dumb move.

“ Hurry up Sam. Eat it.!!”

 

Erns tried getting through my legs. “Leave it Ernie. Leave it”.

“Sam eat it. Eat it.!! Eat the thing”

 

Ernie started whimpering. “ Mum I’ll eat it. Mum can I have it.” He tried pushing me while Sam kept nudging and licking the Kiwifruit. The Kiwi fruit rolled to my feet. Erns was in a panic. Let me have it Mum. I’ll eat it.

 

“ Leave it Ernie.  Eat it Sam.”  I was starting to think what the heck I am going to do now. My legs were getting sore and I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand there. I was sure there would be a fight if I walked away. I tried to shift my weight a bit to try and grab Ernie. Just the chance Erns was waiting for. 

 

 His paw came through my ankles and bashed the kiwi fruit  sending it towards Sam.

 Sam licked it, looked at me with an “I like this Mum mmmmm nice.” licked it again, licked his lips and picked it up. He really didn’t know how to eat it and out it popped.

 

 

Ernie was going to have it this time and with a lunge pushed me in the back of the legs. I lost my balance  stomping on the kiwifruit. Sam stood there with a bewildered look on his face while Erns quickly licked the bits that had shot across the floor, then tried to get his tongue under my shoe.

 

Sam learned his lesson and finished 

 

 

ERNIE IS A CREATURE OF HABIT.

 

Ernie always sits in the wagon on the same side as me. If I have stuff in the back he will sit on it.

When I had the yellow boy Sam, Erns insisted it was his seat. and no way was Sam to sit in it.  Sam didn't care where he sat so there was often a bit of jostling.

One day Erns was determined to be first into the car. He came flying down the path, going so fast he skidded into the car over the back seat and landed between the front seats squeaking in fright, then looked at me as if it were my fault.

Sam ambled down, sat in Ernies seat and refused to get out. Ernie wasn't happy and kept trying to sit on him. I nearly hit the garage wall laughing so hard.

 

The car Ride.

 

I finished cleaning the car and realised the boys had been quietly watching me.  Oh...poor guys. Come on I will take you for a ride in the car.

Before I could close the front doors both ran down the steps and into the car. Ernie got into the drivers seat and Sam in the passenger seat.

It looked so funny. They both sat there staring ahead. Like the  black man driving the old white lady in Driving Miss Daisy.

I closed the doors in case the black one took off, got into the back seat and laughing said.

"O.k. boys. I'll play your game. Where are you taking me. Now don't say the park or the beach. No.. No.. I want to go shopping. Which one of you is buying lunch. Oh I am so excited. Who is buying me lunch."

I heard a voice say.  "Well I have seen some nuts in my time"

The windows were still down and I hadn't seen the post man delivering mail.

 

 

The shortbread dough.

 

I  took a batch of shortbread I had made earlier on the counter then became distracted for a second. I went to cut it and it had gone. I knew it wasn’t Sam as he doesn’t do that and I could hear Erns destroying a Pringles container in the other room.

 

I looked in the fridge again. Maybe  I hadn’t taken it out. Hmmm.  Funny... What could I have done with it? I must be going mad.  Looked into the other room again just in time to see Sam dragging in a big white sausage .

 

There it is.  I rushed into the room as both boys started their feeding frenzy. OMG there is a pound and a half of butter in that. They will be sick. I had to get it off them.

 

They knew what was about to happen so they  started gobbling as fast as they could. I was in the middle trying to get as much as I could. I didn’t have anywhere to put mine and there was no way I was going to do what they are doing. Eat it.!!

 

So I sat on it.  Glad no one could see us sitting on the floor each trying to get as much dough as we could and me stuffing it under my butt yelling louder and louder leave...leave...

 

Finally all the dough was gone. Both boys kept trying to get their noses under my butt for my share. Darn.. That was a dumb move. Now what do I do. Leave...leave.

 I tried wriggling back while trying to hold them away, but I am no match for 2 greedy Labs. After lots of “I am going to kill you both” threats and lying on the floor wriggling I managed to get up with most of it.

 

The boys spent days licking dough I had squashed it into the carpet.