I was mixing the powders together for the few dark hairs on my top lip when I remembered my sons friend bursting into the bathroom. I was so embarrassed. He thought I was snorting. From then on I locked the door. While I was mixing the stuff I giggled about it. I heard Ernie whimper at the door wondering who was in there with me.

When I opened the bathroom door with the stuff on my top lip Ernie stared at me and his eyes grew the size of saucers “Oh Mum!!! What happened in there.”

Everywhere I went these shocked saucer eyes kept getting in front of me. Not believing someone had tried to destuff me. He would go into the bathroom, come and look at me, then back to the bathroom.

I picked up my book to read while I waited for the stuff to do its thing. He tried to look around it then under it. Finally he pushed the book down and stuck his head over the top.  I was crying with laughter.

He sniffed then came closer, then sniffed again. and quickly backed away still staring at me.

“ Phew Mum what kinda stuffing is that. It stinks.” And quickly backed away.

I was in fits of laughter. Tears were rolling down my face and I was making choking noises trying not to snort the foam up my nose.

He came closer, frowned and put his paw on my knee as if to say “its OK Mum I still love you even if you are ruined.”:

Suddenly his expression changed as if he had an idea. He ran to the bathroom and started barking. “Come out you swine. Destruction is my job.” Then he gave a low growl. “Take that you bleach beast.” I was choking with laughter.

With my body guard in tow I went to wash the stuff off. When I came out he looked at me and ran around in circles. Oh Mum. You’r all fixed. I showed him Mum. I got him Mum. I got him. Poor Erns couldn’t take his eyes off me for the rest of the day.

For a long time he would look into the bathroom before I went in. Just checking that bleach beast isn’t in there Mum.

Curing Ernies Bench Surfing.

 I have tried every thing known to man to stop Erns counter surfing.Nothing works. Until one day. 

I saw a T.V. programme where a woman cured a Dalmations counter surfer in a few minutes by banging 2 pot lids together. She claimed noise was the answer and NOT to let them see where the noise is coming from.

Armed with my pot lids I set Ernie up and hid where I could see him. As he got up to the counter I banged the lids and he went back to his mat. Wow. Did this several times. Each time it worked. Miracle. I was so excited. It worked. Friends didn’t believe me so several days later I was showing off to a friend. I was so sure he was cured I left my lunch on the counter. He ate my lunch while I banged pot lids together.

Back to the drawing board we go. I was determined to cure him.

Our kitchen has 2 doors. I had been going out one way so it seemed he was good then. I couldn’t see him if I used the other door, but could hear him. I lay on the floor trying to see under the door and waited. I heard his paws on the floor. I waited with pot lids ready.Waited, but couldn't see him. He was behind me. "What are we looking at Mum." O.K needs 2 people.

Lynn was to call out when he started to get up. I went into the hall to wait. I heard Ernie coming so I ran back through the kitchen and into the hall before he could see me. He started running. I knew he would see me with the pot lids so I hid in the linen cupboard. In my hurry to close the cupboard I pulled the handle off. I put one pot lid on the towels and tried to put the handle back on. I could hear Erns in the kitchen when Lynn called out.

"He is in the kitchen."

It was dark in the cupboard and I dropped the other pot lid. Panic

Lynn called out. "He is sniffing. Now he is getting up to the counter."

I found one pot lid. Darn I have about 2 seconds.

Lynn was calling.

"He is now pawing the dish. He now has the dish at the edge.".

I was facing the linen and couldn’t turn around and bang the lid on the door.

Then she called out." I know…. this is a trick. You have snuck out and left me with Ernie."

I heard the crash of china.

Lynn called out "If you are here Ernie now has the spaghetti and dragging it across the floor and run off."

Well now I know I have mucked up and called out to let me out. I know Erns will be too busy to catch me in my hiding place with potlids.

Ernie and I had just shown Lynn the dogs version of eat and run and how to be outsmarted by a dog.

If anyone wonders if I ever cured him. No...2 years later he is the master counter surfer. He can whip the ham off your sandwhich while you are making it. He is so bold about it he doesn't wait for you to leave the room.

Answer to this. Don't leave anything on the counter, stove or in cupboards a busy Lab can get into.